It's a heart-breaking combination, isn't it? That moment when you're standing in your room... and so many things are missing... that moment when you leave from your friend's house and realize you won't hug them again for months....
It's a hollow, aching feeling that can be so deep tears don't come.
I felt that as I was driving home tonight from a movie night with some friends. I couldn't cry; I could only take a deep breath and keep driving. Partly because driving and crying isn't a safe combination. Driving home was quiet and still and heavy and dark. I thought about the fact that I only had one more day before I left.
It's amazing, isn't it? We dream about this day for weeks and months and wring our hands to get out of high school, only to hesitate when that big door opens. Well, at least for me. That door represents a new transition in my life, the transition to becoming an adult, taking on more responsibility, preparing for a career.
I should tell you the movie we watched was "Treasure Planet."
It felt pretty lonely and scary as I thought about it. That ache in my chest is the ache of not seeing my friends everyday, of stepping into new waters, of saying "until the holidays" to so many people.
But you know what? As hard as it's going to be, I think we're ready for it. I think it's time to take that next step. For now, this is right where I'm supposed to be- packing and say good-byes. I know that when the sun rises tomorrow, the ache may still be there. But there will also be the prospect of new adventures- just a tease of them- right on the horizon.
So, kind of a heavy post. But you already knew I'm sentimental.
In other news, the packing is almost finished! We just have to throw in the clothes, and then I'm set. Here's to everyone packing and saying good-byes, like me. :)
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