Oh, You're Back

Has it been over a month since my last post? Oops.
But I'm back! Happy Fall!
It's been about a week since I've returned to SU after fall break- which was a great time to come home. But you know what the weird thing was? The world had somehow been able to cope with my absence and had...continued to go on.
Okay, I wasn't expecting some sort of scenario from SpongeBob when Sandy comes back to Bikini Bottom and sees the city in shambles and puts her little butterfly in a jar and then everyone in the city cheers and parades her through the town and she says, "I didn't realize I'd be missed so much. Golly, maybe I should leave town more often!" You know what I mean.
It seems like a lot of freshers felt that way when we all came back and talked about it during our Perspectives class. Really, seven weeks feels like a long time to us. In those busy weeks, we've kind of become new people. More independent, more experienced, more knowledgeable, more friendships grown, another home, and we want to come back home and go "Hey everyone! I come bringing good tidings and happiness! Celebrate my return!" Well, it sounds something like that. Instead of the amazing celebration we believe should happen, we get "Oh, you're back. How is college?" And then the excitement dies down inside of us.
It's kind of like kneading a ball of dough. If you take a piece of the dough out, the bigger portion continues to be kneaded and fills the hole. Then, when you try and integrate that dough again, it's a lot harder, sometimes impossible.
I'm not saying every home for us was completely taken over and we were sent out to spend fall break in the cold. Fall break was great! I loved spending time with my family and hanging with my friends. But... there was an obvious air, excluding my immediate home and friends, of being a foreigner in a place that used to be my main walking grounds. There is a piece of me that knows that my life has turned in a different direction. I have a new role. I'm not a high school student at Boyertown; I'm not a Sunday school teacher at Calvary; I'm not even a piano student at Frederick Living. Now, I'm a Susquehanna student, a Selinsgrove church attender, a handbell choir member, a Circle K server.
So, yeah, it's an interesting feeling, having that awkward sensation of feeling a bit out of place. Slowly, I'm seeing SU becoming my new walking grounds instead of Souderton or Boyertown. But it's a joy to know that there is a home waiting for me, family and close friends that love me and keep me updated. And now, it's an exciting feeling to know that I'm making another home for myself, another place where I'm growing into a single, independent person, creating my own traditions, setting my own schedule, and organizing my own priorities. It's exhilarating.
Hopefully more posts will be coming sooner than a month from now. Until then, enjoy the beautiful fall weather!

Running Through the Grass like a Fairy Tale Princess

Yup. That's what I did tonight.
I guess I was just really happy. I decided to take an evening walk around the campus, dressed in a warm jacket and wrapped in a scarf. Today was a beautiful, blue-sky day, so the stars were numerous, dimmed a bit by the brilliant moon. I strolled for longer than I anticipated; what was supposed to be a 15-minute walk became a 50-minute trek through SU. All the tall street lights glowed and lit up the winding pathways, and I felt at ease.
I decided to mainly just take a deep breath and chat a bit with God, but it turned into a much longer talk. I realized how much time I had devoted to studying and working and hanging with friends and giving myself time to relax with Netflix- which aren't bad things- and I hadn't given any time to Him. Sure, I thought about Him, but it was the first time in a while that I spent more than 5 minutes talking with Him.
Well, I guess I was mostly talking AT Him, in a nice way. I didn't have many complaints. But He reminded me that it's a two-way street. So, I lengthened my time in the crisp cold air and took another lap around Smith Lawn- but silently. I just listened, or tried to listen. Honestly, even when I tried to go to a quiet spot, there was noise the harder I tried to listen. Lacrosse games in the distance. Cars driving down the road. People shouting in the distance. Different machines whirring outside of the academic buildings. Annoying, chattering crickets. Even when I tried to find a quiet solitude, it wasn't entirely quiet. It was just quieter. How in the world could I hear God here? I was listening, but the world just wouldn't shut up!
And then something hit me. Perhaps this was what I should take away from tonight. The world isn't quiet. It never really was, isn't, and probably never will be. But what matters is appreciating what's around you and learning to hear the quiet and the beauty and the voice of God between the noise. That doesn't make much sense, but it's what ran through my mind. I could find quiet in my own body by just being still and sitting on a bench without reaching for my phone or even a book. Just sitting. And as I sat, I felt calmer, more serene, and the noise around me started to sound more like beauty than anything else. I didn't want it to end. But, it was cold and getting late, and I can only walk so much.
So I cut across Smith Lawn and felt very happy and blessed. I was thankful that I started to take the time to listen, be still, and try to hear God's voice. And perhaps I heard a bit tonight. Instead of always talking to Him, I let Him talk for a change. And that's why I started running through the grass like a fairy tale princess. Being quiet, seeing the world by gazing at the vast heavens above, reminds you of how the world is so much more than college and academics and impressing your professors. It's about discovering a great and exciting story that everyone can be a part of. And it doesn't matter how silly you look as you skip through the grass. Sometimes you just have to do it. The only opinion that matters is the loving opinion of One.
I encourage you to find time to appreciate Him today. It may not be running through the grass, but it may just be deciding to walk just to walk, not with a destination in mind. Or sitting down just to sit and look around. It really puts things in perspective, and you feel just a bit more... complete when your gaze goes outward instead of inward.

In the Quiet

It's been a little while since my last post, but I'm glad to see that people are reading them!

What's been going on since my last blog post? Well, a little bit of everything. Classes are in full swing. Extra-curriculars are e-mailing me messages about joining their organizations. My schedule is starting to fill up a little more each day. And I've squished a few spiders.

Honestly, I can't fathom that over two weeks have passed already! Each day goes by so quickly, and with my classes only happening four times a week, the "work week" is even shorter! But, at the same time, it feels like months ago that I first moved in here. Now, when I trudge into my dorm after a hectic day, it feels like I'm coming home. Everything is starting to feel... established.

Though there are so many aspects I'm loving about college life, there are some things that I miss- quiet time being one of them. It was something we discussed in my Thought class briefly. Everyone, whether a social butterfly or a home-body, needs quiet time, needs a moment to relax. Here at SU, at least for me, it's something I will never take for granted again. There's really no such thing as being bored here.

Therefore, my quiet times with God, and my brief interludes of silence throughout the day are savored. When they arrive, it's like a greeting from a long-lost friend. I embrace it. There's so much to reap from a quiet walk across campus, or sleeping in just a little bit later, or sitting under a tree with my Bible. In those quiet moments, God whispers a reminder of His beauty and love. More and more, I'm reminded how important it is to "Be still and know that He is God." Without Him by my side, I fear that the business of life and the exhilarating power of being an independent individual would overpower me. 

So, I guess in conclusion it is something to praise God for. He is teaching me how to prioritize, to figure out what's important and what isn't, to slow down and savor the beautiful concept of resting and being quiet. I have a long ways to go, if you know me and my love for schedules, but being here at Susquehanna has taught me to pay more attention to the quiet. And in that beautiful quiet, His voice may be heard all the more clearer.

It's Not Camp, it's College!

So, I'm here- I'm officially registered and on campus for the SU fall semester!

For now, the freshmen are getting used to their new surroundings by participating in some fun activities- that makes us sound like the new addition of animals to the zoo, doesn't it?

But a zoo it is not! Well, maybe a bit. I'm definitely running around enough like a frenzied chicken at certain times of the day. Just yesterday (which was "getting to business" day) I power walked from the lunch hall across campus to the registrar's office, only to be sent back to the lunch building and back again!

Among power walking, I've also been doing a lot of other activities. So far, I've met a lot of new people and made some great new friends, went to a casino night, played a campus-wide Simon Says game, volunteered at an exotic animal enclosure, and set up my academic year more fully. It's a big difference to fully take care of myself and my needs. I don't have my mom telling me to be assertive and ask the right questions anymore. That's up to me. And you know what? As daunting as it was, I'm getting the hang of it.

Though SU has gone above and beyond to make Welcome Week fun and exciting for us, it's been the smaller, quieter traits of the campus that makes me feel at home. The cool, crisp, fresh air in the mornings as I'm walking to breakfast. The regal gonging of the chapel every quarter hour. The beautiful wooded, grassy scenery that envelopes me in peace as I have some quiet time. The friendly smiles of friends and new classmates. The wise old tree that I get to watch change colors throughout the year outside my bedroom window. And I couldn't forget the numerous eccentric squirrels that pose for pictures.

God has blessed me with so many wonderful things here at SU- friends, scenery, good food, a wonderful dorm, great academics. But honestly, my brain thinks it's summer camp or something. Any day now I'll have to pack everything up and head home again. But, surprise! I'm here for seven more weeks! But I'm trusting God that He has everything under control. I'm sure I'm in for a great, challenging, fun, and engaging seven weeks.

Yup, I think SU suits me quite well
. Now, let's see what happens when classes roll around....

Packing and Good-byes

It's a heart-breaking combination, isn't it? That moment when you're standing in your room... and so many things are missing... that moment when you leave from your friend's house and realize you won't hug them again for months....
It's a hollow, aching feeling that can be so deep tears don't come.
I felt that as I was driving home tonight from a movie night with some friends. I couldn't cry; I could only take a deep breath and keep driving. Partly because driving and crying isn't a safe combination. Driving home was quiet and still and heavy and dark. I thought about the fact that I only had one more day before I left.
It's amazing, isn't it? We dream about this day for weeks and months and wring our hands to get out of high school, only to hesitate when that big door opens. Well, at least for me. That door represents a new transition in my life, the transition to becoming an adult, taking on more responsibility, preparing for a career.
I should tell you the movie we watched was "Treasure Planet."
It felt pretty lonely and scary as I thought about it. That ache in my chest is the ache of not seeing my friends everyday, of stepping into new waters, of saying "until the holidays" to so many people.
But you know what? As hard as it's going to be, I think we're ready for it. I think it's time to take that next step. For now, this is right where I'm supposed to be- packing and say good-byes. I know that when the sun rises tomorrow, the ache may still be there. But there will also be the prospect of new adventures- just a tease of them- right on the horizon.
So, kind of a heavy post. But you already knew I'm sentimental.
In other news, the packing is almost finished! We just have to throw in the clothes, and then I'm set. Here's to everyone packing and saying good-byes, like me. :)

I promise I won't ramble too much....

Well, hello there! I'm glad that you've taken an interest in reading some of my posts!
Honestly, I didn't think I would ever start a blog. I mean, I wanted to start one, but I was afraid it would just be me rambling on and on to myself about things going on in my life, that no one else would ever read and....
I hope I'm proved wrong on that point.
Really, this blog's main purpose is just a way to keep connected with people back home while I'm away at college- SU- Susquehanna University! But we'll see where it goes.
So. To start off, I'd like to introduce myself in goals, since most of you already know me well enough personality-wise. This coming school year, I want to....

1. Join the hand bell choir. Like, really, REALLY badly. I've only ever played the hand bells one other time in elementary school. I had three notes. This year, I want to upgrade to at least five.

2. Drink more tea. There's something refined, relaxing, and romantic about curling up with a cup of tea and a good book. Plus, if I swear off coffee for the rest of my life, I need a substitute.

3. Keep writing! I set these wonderful, encouraging goals for myself, and many times just slowly slip away from them. Hopefully the breath-taking scenery of Selinsgrove will inspire ideas within me, or just have me chasing butterflies around campus.

4. Learn to French braid hair. I'm currently in need of people to practice on. I apologize in advance if I pull any hair.

I was going for a complete "five goal description," but it's late and I'm tired. Until the next post, where I will be tackling a hard transition in life: packing for college.

dum-dum-dum!